From Surviving to Dreaming: Carlos, Karina, and Nicole’s Story

Note: This blog post was collaboratively written with Stephani Duff of Back2Back.

The call the Strong Families team received wasn’t out of the ordinary. It was from a family with the odds stacked against them. From financial security to the neighborhood they called home, this family of four needed assistance.

It started when 11-year-old Carlos ran away from the all-boys orphanage he was living in. He arrived home resolute, saying to his mother “I can’t do this anymore, I don’t want to live in a children’s home; I want to be with my family, and I will do whatever needs to be done to be with them.”

You see, Carlos had a family – a mom and two sisters. However, as a single mother, his mom was struggling to provide for Carlos and his siblings. She was also concerned about keeping them safe, as the neighborhood they call home has fallen victim to gang growth, small robberies, and other dangerous behavior. The educational rate in the community is one of the lowest in Monterrey and, according to recent statistics from social development departments, it’s one of the riskiest and lowest-income areas in the state.

As a result, Carlos’ mother sent him to a children’s home and was actively looking to place her daughters, age 7 and 16, in institutional care as well. This is not uncommon in many parts of the world. Loving parents, trying to give their children a better future – send them to orphanages in hopes they will have safe shelter, nutritious food, and access to education. But while these parents are trying to make the right choice for their kids, they often aren’t aware of the damaging long-term effects of being raised in an institutional environment.

Now that Carlos was home, the family needed help and support to stay together – and that’s where you came in.

A Better Way

With your support, The Hope Effect partners with Back2Back Mexico to focus on reintegration – getting children who are currently living in orphanages back into their loving families. Through the Strong Families program, we support children and families through this critical transition using an intentional, collaborative strategy.

When the Strong Families team in Nuevo León was contacted, they were impressed with how Carlos advocated for himself, knowing exactly what he did, and did not, want.

In getting to know each of the family members, they learned the mother grew up in a children’s home herself. She lived there until she ran away at 16, done with institutionalized living. At age 21, she was a mother of two and in an unhealthy relationship. In the name of safety, she ran with her children and set about rebuilding her life for them.

“When we met with the family, we were introduced to a single mom of three kids who worked constantly to provide,” shared staff members. “She thought she was doing what was best for his safety and well-being by entering him in a children’s home, but we will always work to keep families completely together.”

The mother was working constantly to provide for her family, but that also meant she wasn’t able to be around as much as she would like. In addition, the difficult neighborhood and associated dangers threatened her children’s futures.

It’s not uncommon for children – and their parents – in this area to make money by selling stolen goods. Often, young men resort to gang activity. These activities have become normal for members of the community, and it can feel impossible for families to go against the grain of these expectations.

Thanks to your support, the Strong Families team stepped in, helping this family understand how to build a healthy support system and make choices in line with the future they want. Together, this family of four is fighting against the status quo.

“From the first day we met her, she has proven to be a woman who, when she is in an uncomfortable situation, knows she can take steps to change it,” the Strong Families team shared about Carlos’ mother. “This is powerful. We meet families completely burnt out and hopeless from their circumstances, but she refuses to allow that to be their story.”

Transforming The Future

The family has been working diligently with the Strong Families team to work through customized plans addressing five points of development: physical, educational, emotional, spiritual, and social. This holistic approach is vital to the family’s success and survival.

The mother started seeing the staff psychologist almost immediately, understanding she wasn’t alone, and didn’t have to fight singularly for her family. For an entire year, she faithfully met with a psychologist and now is in follow up calls every other week to ensure she feels supported.

Our team has also been working to provide customized education support for each of the children. Educational care is imperative to breaking generational trauma and poverty, and much of the focus of care has been on ensuring the children are receiving what they need both in, and out of, the classroom.

When the family was fully reunited, staff realized Carlos was behind academically. Education just wasn’t a priority where they live. But now, we are thrilled to share that Carlos is on track and has graduated elementary school.

The eldest of the three, Karina, recently started high school in one of the most difficult public high schools in the area, focusing on finances, accounting, and administrative work. Being accepted into this school allowed her to discover – and believe in – her full potential.

Karina asked Mariana, our team’s social worker, to be her “madrina,” or godmother. This is a term culturally used to describe a safe adult who voluntarily takes on a mentorship role. Mariana is someone Karina can go to for advice, who can walk alongside her as she learns new social skills, and who she can be vulnerable with when she’s having a hard time. This relationship has allowed Karina to remind herself that she too can grow to be a professional woman with healthy, thriving relationships around her.

The youngest of the three, Nicole, still needs assistance getting to and from school and someone to help feed her. The Strong Families team helped restore relationships with the mother’s extended family, so the family now has a larger support system.  

Another key area of growth is through play. The family has gone on extraordinary field trips together, and it’s been one of the best interventions offered to them. It is specific time set aside allowing the mother to be carefree alongside her children through laughter, connection through play, and building core memories.

As Mariana, our team’s social worker, explained, “Mom didn't grow up able to do those sorts of things, and she’s rewriting the story for her family now - not one of crisis after crisis, but one where separation isn’t ever an option on the table.”

From Surviving to Dreaming

As this brave family continues to heal and pursue health together, the children have learned to use their own voices. The family is saying no to behavior that will not result in forward movement, receiving urgent dental care, and working toward obtaining a home of their own.

They were once a family of four in constant turmoil. Their chief goals were staying out of gangs and remaining safe. Now, they are a family unit who chooses one another, prioritizes healing, and have moved from simply surviving to dreaming.

This is the power of children remaining with family. There is hope and healing, dreams are made possible, and lives are transformed, all in the name of love.

Thank you for making this possible. You are changing lives, and together, we are changing the way the world cares for orphans…because every child deserves a family.

*The children’s names have been changed to protect their privacy.